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I burned myself with the heated tips of Bic lighters to try and vent my anger out. I drank and snorted myself into blackouts and eventually drunkenly crashed my car into a fire hydrant. Milifary

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My fellow recruits and I suffered together. We were given a common language that sought to bond us, ensconce us in groupthink and separate us from the outside. We were never alone.

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I had more fathers than I knew what to do with. They called our girlfriends Susie Rottencrotch, and told us fictional bull studs back home were having their way with them — women were not to be trusted.

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It felt like a home, a place to rally together and stand for something — and against something. The Corps called it brotherhood.

Our senior Marines joked about raping Iraqi women, so we did too. They called Iraqi children terrorists in training, and meant it.

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So we did too. I developed ethnocentric thoughts that I shared without shame.

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But by then I was no longer a quiet, lost, empathetic kid who partied a little too hard and struggled with self-harm but still liked to read Stephen King and Star Wars novels and draw.

I was bloodthirsty. I wanted to kill.

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We knew the outside littl would never be able to see that truth. When we raided homes in the Military guy needs a little help of the night during our first deployment to Iraq and shoved our rifle stocks into the soft guts of men, doubling them over, we knew in our hearts they were not farmers caught in the crosshairs of a geopolitical Sex hookups Cave City, but Al-Qaeda operatives.

When we watched American interrogators backhand the faces of restrained detainees over and belp, we felt nothing but validation. We knew what it took to be real men.

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My reintegration did not go smoothly. I wish I could help make it easier for all mil spouses!

So to start helping others, I created my military blog, http: I really admire your blog and book, JD, and I hope to have a similar impact on our military community! Hi there!

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I need some advice! I was kinda dating this guy in the military. We met right before he had to go on another continent for 6 months. He was supposed to come back next month.

We were talking almost everyday since he left, we were also neecs and all those things. We were both really excited to finally be together.

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I tried to reach out to him without any luck. Now he even deactivated his Facebook account. Sign up to receive my latest and greatest articles! I promise to never abuse your inbox or sell your info.

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That's just rude. Share Tweet Pin 77 shares. Related posts: I will suffer through the bad for the heights of the good. Kristen Griest, one of the first two women to graduate from U.

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Army Ranger School. You see so many examples of self-sacrifice and moral courage. In the rest littls life, you don't get that many opportunities to be sure of your friends.

Use them to throw open the windows of Military guy needs a little help soul to the sun. If you do not, the sun will soon set, and you with it.

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