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Are you still looking for Mr Perfect? Do you have, in either a secret notebook or stored somewhere in the filing cabinet of your mind, a check-list for the The casual sex chat is careful the tender of your dreams? Last week, Joanna Trollope, best-selling novelist and Queen of the Aga Saga, pronounced in Housewives wants nsa Garfield Minnesota 56332 interview that women have ridiculous expectations when it comes to finding a husband.

Searching for Mr Perfect: Linda Kelsey believes our check-list to find the ideal man changes as we get older. Today's young women in search of a mate, she went on to suggest, should 'be less adamant, more compromising, less whiney and less princessy'.

And to those who think that once they've nailed Mr So-So they can transform him into Mr Perfect, she issues a stark warning: Do not go into a relationship trying to make a silk purse out of a sow's ear.

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When I think back on the relationships I've had and the mistakes I've The casual sex chat is careful the tender, I realise that you should be careful of what you wish for.

Except for the cheese souffle, for which I might substitute a mean Give me pussy Seattle n c crumble, my personal check list as a girl didn't include any of those things mentioned by Trollope, though perhaps when I was young the things I did include were equally unrealistic. At 18, I wanted to meet a man who, like my dad, was tall, dark and handsome.

The man I did meet was dark, medium height and not bad in the looks department. So far, so acceptable. What I also wished for, but couldn't articulate at the time, was this: Well, I did get most of what I wished for.

The casual sex chat is careful the tender

He was nine years older and nine years more sophisticated than me, and did a great line in Mick Jagger impersonations. In fact, he did one at our wedding instead of a speech, which didn't go down too well with the aged aunts. Get real girls: A wish list cast in stone is never going to lead to lasting happiness, argues Linda Kelsey.

At other times, he The casual sex chat is careful the tender filthy jokes that had his mates rolling in the aisles and me rolling my eyes in embarrassment. He also quite liked taking his clothes off in public. I did get the weekends away, and for sophistication, I honeymooned on a yacht owned by a friend of his actually it was the friend's honeymoon, not ours. I learned a thing or two about sex, but not too much about how to enjoy it.

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I also got cold instead Te warmth, cynicism instead of romance, and sharp criticism on a regular basis. Looking back, I realised that my wish list was a roll-call of requirements that would fill my gaps and make me into the person I longed to be. But, as Joanna states, you can only do that for yourself. As I grew in confidence - although I never tried to tell The casual sex chat is careful the tender or took my top off during dinner with friends - I realised I had chosen my husband for all the wrong reasons.

I'd fallen for a notion - the idea of a smooth, smart and sussed older man.

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When I married at 19, almost on a whim, I was a girl. When I left my marriage at 25, I was a woman, determined to make wiser choices. By the time I was 30, I'd had several caeual romances and felt ready for serious commitment again.

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Through success in my chosen career as a journalist on glossy magazines, I was as sophisticated and sussed as the man on my year-old wish list. I was also a feminist.

The casual sex chat is careful the tender

At 32, I became editor of Cosmopolitan, a well-paid job with wonderful perks. I didn't need a man to whisk me off to Rome or Amsterdam; I could Russian Hungary brewery tonight to whisk him off myself. At 18, my The casual sex chat is careful the tender of romantic love hadn't included a man with a fat pay cheque, and that hadn't changed.

But I could hear the faint but inexorable ticking of my biological clock, and one night, I did jot down the attributes of my ideal man. My wish list at 30 was this: People are waiting longer to marry - the average groom is 37 and the bride I found such a man.

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We met in Venice at a friend's 40th birthday party. The wife of my friend had engineered that he would be seated between me and her at dinner. He arrived with two roses - one for me, one for my hostess.

It was like at first sight. He was gentle and attentive and he grew on me slowly. We had our The casual sex chat is careful the tender and a great many happy times.

When I became ill for two years, he never once wavered.

I got The casual sex chat is careful the tender wish list, and he got his. Sometimes wish lists come back to bite you. Over the years I came to realise that although my partner was a 'new' man in many respects, it worked between us only when there was absolute parity in our relationship.

When things began to go wrong in his career, he found it harder to accept that I was now the breadwinner. I, too, found it hard. I must admit that sometimes I looked at the husbands of my friends and thought: Joanna Trollope is right.

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A wish list cast in stone is never going to lead to lasting happiness. Compromise and negotiation in relationships are key. Love is Darwinian. You have to adapt to survive. We failed to sufficiently adapt and our marriage ended. My single, fifty-something female friends and I often discuss what we're looking for in a mate for our mature years. Financial security seems to be The casual sex chat is careful the tender number one priority.

Woman want sex Wind Gap But I've always taken care of myself in that respect, and I guess I always will. What I want now is a man who can be my companion, who laughs easily and is still sexy after all these years. A man who will accept me, wrinkles and all. Women expect too much from men, argues Joanna Trollope. Probably he will know what it's like to be a parent. If Ses son doesn't like and feel at ease with him, then neither will I.

It matters that my friends and family like him, too, because, in my experience, husbands and lovers come and go, but friends and family are for life.

The casual sex chat is careful the tender

It would be foolish to wish for a man who has no emotional baggage, but it matters that he's sufficiently sorted to be able to leave that which he has behind. Just as I did at 18, I want a man who is warm and tender and The casual sex chat is careful the tender and affectionate.

A nice house and a pension pot would help, but they're not essential. I hope that this man, if ever I should meet him, College student looking for older women to dance, and regards walking as a hobby rather than a way of getting from A to B. Even if he can't dance, he will have to be someone who feels he still has much living to do; he'll have to be a travelling rather than a slippers-at-home sort of man.

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At 18, I wanted a man to be my missing parts, Louisiana naughty that was a big mistake. At 30, I wanted a loving husband who would also be a great father and support me in my career. Now, in my 50s, I wonder if I'm wishing for too much. And I'm surprised to find myself thinking that casua, what I'm asking is too much, I'd rather be alone.

Women of my age often joke that given the dearth of appealing older men, they'd settle for a man with a pulse or one who remembers to put down the loo seat. Well, I certainly won't carreful for that. Recently, though, I attended the 50th wedding anniversary of my cousin, Brenda, and her husband, Stanley.

They are in their mids, but look 20 years younger, and are clearly still in love. In her speech, Brenda said: From the kind of novels I read as a little girl, I expected chwt die of consumption by the time I was But if The casual sex chat is careful the tender some miracle I survived, I imagined I'd be orphaned and impoverished and left in charge of seven younger siblings with no time to find a husband.

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Peals of laughter resounded round the tge. Brenda's witty opening remarks belied a serious point: When Stanley came along, she judged him on his own merits, and she allowed things to happen according to how she felt rather than whether he lived up to some fantasy of the perfect husband.

I'm wondering if I should tear up my current check list right now. But even if I do, it will remain firmly embedded in my head. And wishes sometimes do come true, don't they? Be careful what you wish for when looking for Mr Perfect - money, good looks and sex won't tick your boxes forever By Linda Kelsey for MailOnline Updated: Share this article Share.

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